Category: Thoughts

A collection of my thoughts on various things

Catatan Karir Praktisi Hukum Penyelesaian Sengketa

Saya menulis esai ini sebagai materi presentasi untuk Passion Playground Festival pada 28 November 2020. Saya ragu apakah mempublikasikan esai ini merupakan “masturbasi di depan umum.” Saya diberikan panggung untuk berbicara tentang diri sendiri. Saya tentu suka perhatian—bagaimanapun sisi narsistik saya cukup kuat. Namun, saya cukup mawas diri bahwa tidak ada orang yang lebih membosankan dibandingkan orang yang membanggakan diri sendiri. Kepercayaan diri yang berlebihan itu hanya dimiliki anak-anak, orang bodoh, atau sosiopat. 

Sejujurnya, saat dihubungi Vooya untuk memberikan presentasi soal profesi arbitrator, impostor syndrome saya menyerang dengan kuat. Masih banyak rekan-rekan seumuran saya di industri jasa hukum yang lebih bersinar dan berdedikasi. Di sisi lain, pengalaman hidup saya (dan Sun Tzu) mengajarkan bahwa setiap kesempatan harus diambil karena akan berlipat. “Opportunities multiply as they are seized.” Jadilah saya, dengan modal pengalaman dan keahlian yang tentunya terbatas, berusaha menginspirasi (sial, saya akhirnya menggunakan kata klise ini) remaja-remaja Generasi Z (atau mungkin mereka sudah termasuk generasi selanjutnya?). 

Menulis esai ini saya mesti menggali memori saya dan kembali ke saya yang dulu. Ternyata, hal ini secara langsung menjadi sebuah grateful exercise. Saya diingatkan bahwa saya sekarang mendapatkan sebagian besar hal yang saya inginkan waktu [lebih] muda. Kalaupun ada yang meleset atau berbeda, keinginan saya pun sudah banyak berubah. Saya pribadi melihat perubahan-perubahan keinginan saya tersebut sebagai evolusi menjadi pribadi yang lebih baik, menjadi lebih bijaksana, cerdas, dan dewasa.

Selain itu, kalimat-kalimat yang saya gunakan cukup idealis—terutama mengenai reformasi yudisial Indonesia. Sebagaimana semua yang hidup di Indonesia tahu, menjadi idealis di Indonesia bukan hal yang mudah. Di titik tertentu dalam hidup, ada yang namanya realitas sosial dan institusional. Sangat mudah untuk menjustifikasi tindakan atau partisipasi korup kita sebagai suatu pragmatisme, sebagai suatu keharusan dalam “bertahan hidup”; menafikan idealisme dan kebaikan sebagai suatu kemunafikan dan/atau kenaifan. Semoga dengan mempublikasikan esai ini saya mempunyai semacam landasan akuntabilitas dalam menjalankan profesi ini seidealis mungkin.

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Saya akan jujur. Alasan saya menjadi pengacara, advokat istilah resminya, adalah uang. Saya tumbuh dan besar di Jakarta, di keluarga yang bisa dibilang selalu kesulitan keuangan karena besar pasak daripada tiang. Bukan, orangtua saya tidak bisa dibilang di bawah garis kemiskinan. Kami bisa punya rumah dan mobil, tapi hasil utang sana-sini dan pemberian keluarga.

Dulu saya cuma tahu cara hidup gaya (kelas menengah ngehe) Jakarta. Bisa punya mobil untuk pergi ke mall; makan di restoran cepat saji atau waralaba yang hidangannya sedang-sedang saja namun harganya tidak murah juga. Yang penting di mall, terlindung dari sengat matahari dan polusi. Idealnya beberapa bulan sekali ganti handphone, setiap lima tahun ganti mobil.

Namun, keluarga saya tidak sanggup untuk itu. Ibu saya bilang, kalau mau begitu harus cari kerja yang gajinya besar.

Di keluarga besar saya, om atau tante yang gaji atau penghasilannya besar itu kerja di Bank atau di perusahaan minyak/tambang. Kuliahnya ekonomi atau teknik. Masalahnya saya lemah di mata pelajaran sains waktu sekolah. Mafia (matematika, fisika, kimia) menjadi momok menakutkan saat ujian dan terima rapor.

Setelah krisis ekonomi yang berujung juga pada reformasi 1998, banyak pengacara menjadi sorotan media. Saya pikir mereka kelihatan keren: percaya diri mengenakan kemeja, jas, dan dasi. Berkantor di suatu gedung di kawasan komersial Jakarta. Cuap-cuap soal saham, obligasi, pailit, BLBI, BPPN, HAM, gugat, banding, kasasi; mewakili pejabat ini dan konglomerat itu.

Pasnya lagi: fakultas hukum itu jurusan ilmu sosial. Keahlian hitung menghitung bukan persyaratan (walaupun tentunya membantu). Aha! Saya pikir saya cocok menjadikan profesi pengacara sebagai cita-cita!

Tapi tunggu dulu. Dalam keluarga besar saya belum ada yang jadi pengacara. Menurut persepsi mereka pengacara di Indonesia itu bukan orang-orang baik (mengingat carut marut dan korupnya sistem peradilan di Indonesia). 

Selain itu, pengacara kan harus pintar berbicara. “Lo kan cadel, mana bisa pintar berbicara?” cibir beberapa teman. 

Komentar penghambat lain, “lo juga bukan orang Batak. Mana ada pengacara sukses bukan orang Batak.” 

 Saya tidak peduli saat itu. Biarlah dianggap “bukan orang baik”, yang penting uang banyak (dengan standar kelas menengah Jakarta). Soal saya cadel, saya jadikan pengacara senior Bang Todung Mulya Lubis sebagai role model untuk meyakinkan diri bahwa kecadelan bukan hambatan. 

Saya mantapkan memilih Fakultas Hukum Universitas Indonesia pada saat SPMB. Diterima. 

Saat kuliah di FHUI, saya terkagum-kagum melihat teman-teman yang merupakan anak-anak dari pengacara dari firma hukum besar di Jakarta. Mereka ke kampus dengan mobil mewah, uang sakunya besar. Alumni-alumni yang bekerja di firma-firma hukum pun menjual profesi mereka, iming-iming utama: gaji besar. Semakin mantap lah cita-cita sebagai pengacara. 

Sebagai mahasiswa hukum, saya baru tahu bahwa pada dasarnya ada dua jenis pengacara: penyelesaian sengketa (biasa disebut litigator) dan transaksi (biasa disebut sebagai corporate lawyer). Litigator itu yang beracara di pengadilan, kadang mengenakan toga kalau perkara pidana. Sedangkan, corporate lawyer itu yang mengurus transaksi komersial antar perusahaan. 

Stereotipe bahwa litigator Indonesia itu orang Batak tidak dapat dipungkiri, nama-nama seperti Lubis, Hutapea, Pangaribuan, Sitompul mendominasi. Hal ini membuat saya sempat berpikir, mungkin lebih baik menjadi corporate lawyer mengingat faktor kesukuan tersebut. Apalagi pembawaan saya memang kurang gahar.

Lulus sebagai sarjana hukum, saya diterima kerja di suatu firma hukum yang relatif baru berdiri di bilangan SCBD. Kebetulan firma hukum tersebut menangani transaksi komersial maupun penyelesaian sengketa. Saat itu mereka sedang membutuhkan junior associate untuk penyelesaian sengketa.

Meskipun direkrut untuk tim penyelesaian sengketa, saya juga beberapa kali mendapat pekerjaan corporate lawyer. Saya langsung sadar kalau saya memang lebih cocok menjadi litigator. Saya kurang betah berada di dalam kantor terlalu lama. Saya juga suka melihat hal-hal yang “seru”: gedung pengadilan yang tersebar di seantero kepulauan Indonesia, kantor polisi, penjara, daerah pertambangan dan perkebunan.

Ternyata memang benar sistem peradilan Indonesia segitu korup dan carut-marutnya. Di satu sisi saya senang bisa melihat dan mengalami langsung “kenyataan yudisial Indonesia”, namun di sisi lain saya sering frustrasi harus berkali-kali berurusan dengannya. Pada satu titik, saya melihat korupsi dan ketidakadilan pada umumnya sebagai suatu hal yang wajar.

Pada 2010, saya ditempatkan di firma hukum Singapura yang terafiliasi selama 3 bulan. Singapura negara maju dan kaya, namun kesenjangan sosialnya rendah. Dengan infrastruktur yang baik, kehidupan sehari-hari lebih manusiawi: naik transportasi umum nyaman dan tidak dipandang rendah seperti di Jakarta. Pemerintahan Singapura memiliki skor indeks persepsi korupsi yang sangat baik, salah satu negara paling tidak korup di dunia, dan peradilannya independen sehingga terpercaya untuk penyelesaian sengketa komersial internasional. Bahkan bisa dibilang kemajuan Singapura menjadi satu-satunya negara maju di Asia Tenggara adalah karena reformasi peradilannya pada 1990-an.

Sepulang dari Singapura, saya sadar bahwa korupsi dan kesenjangan sosial di Jakarta (dan Indonesia pada umumnya) bukan hal yang normal. Masih umum, namun perlu diperbaiki. Sebagai litigator, tentu cara saya berkontribusi dalam perbaikan adalah di bidang sistem peradilan. Namun bukankah naif untuk menjadi litigator yang tidak turut serta dalam carut marutnya peradilan Indonesia?

Beberapa bulan setelah kembali, saya diterima bekerja di firma hukum yang didirikan Bang Todung Mulya Lubis. Selain menunjukkan bahwa cadel bukan hambatan, beliau merupakan contoh bahwa pengacara Indonesia bisa berpraktik secara efektif (dan sukses) meski abstain dalam praktik suap-menyuap. Bahkan, kalau jujur, jadi pengacara “hitam” juga tidak menjamin sukses (kaya). Terlihat kaya, mungkin—ada rekan sejawat kemana-mana menggunakan mobil mewah, ternyata sewaan.

Saya menyadari bahwa sehebat-hebatnya pengacara, advokat, penasihat hukum, counsel, lawyer pada akhirnya yang menjatuhkan putusan adalah hakim juga. Bagaimanapun, inti dari sistem peradilan adalah sang pemutus. Namun, saat saya memulai karir, saya yakin tidak bisa menjadi hakim yang baik dengan remunerasi yang ditawarkan. Saya juga tidak akan tahan dalam birokrasi yang kompleks kehidupan pegawai negeri.

Dalam mendalami praktik litigasi dan penyelesaian sengketa, terdapat mekanisme penyelesaian sengketa yang namanya arbitrase. Pada dasarnya arbitrase ini peradilan swasta, di mana para pihak dapat memilih “hakim” untuk memutus sengketa (disebut sebagai “arbitrator” atau “arbiter”). Mekanisme ini berdasarkan undang-undang dan didukung lembaga peradilan negara (Mahkamah Agung).

Untuk menjadi hakim di Indonesia, sesorang harus berkarir di Mahkamah Agung. Namun, setiap orang yang telah berpraktik dalam satu profesi selama jangka waktu tertentu dan memiliki keahlian di bidang tertentu dapat menjadi arbitrator. Orang tersebut dapat ditunjuk untuk mengadili asalkan tidak memiliki konflik kepentingan dan bersikap imparsial terhadap para pihak dan sengketa yang akan diputusnya.

Saya sendiri berulang kali menjadi counsel salah satu pihak dalam perkara-perkara arbitrase maupun litigasi yang terkait arbitrase, domestik dan internasional. Pernah mewakili pemerintah suatu negara Asia Tenggara dalam sengketa terkait pengadaan program satelit pertahanannya (perkara arbitrase biasanya bersifat tertutup untuk umum, sehingga rahasia).

Arbitrase itu cenderung lebih efektif dan dinamis. Proses persidangannya lebih fleksibel dan tidak sekaku perkara-perkara di hadapan pengadilan. Mengingat para pihak dapat menunjuk siapapun yang memiliki kualifikasi , arbitrator biasanya merupakan ahli di bidang yang menjadi pokok sengketa. Jadi tidak terbatas pada ahli di bidang hukum. Perkara konstruksi biasanya memiliki arbiter seorang engineer. Sengketa di bidang keuangan, arbiter dengan latar belakang valuation, finance and accounting. Sehingga, pemeriksaan perkaranya juga lebih canggih.

Salah satu hal paling menyenangkan dalam menangani berbagai perkara untuk klien-klien dengan latar belakang yang berbeda adalah meluasnya wawasan saya. Dalam menangani suatu perkara, saya harus memahami industri atau bidang-bidang keilmuan yang menjadi pokok sengketa. Saya pernah harus memahami materi terkait biokimia karena menangani kasus terkait bioremediasi tanah terkontaminasi minyak mentah.

Arbitrase juga mengurangi beban administrasi perkara Mahkamah Agung. Dengan adanya proses peradilan ditangani secara partikelir, meskipun hanya terbatas pada perkara-perkara komersial, pengadilan dapat menghemat sumber dayanya.

Itulah mengapa saya memutuskan untuk menjadi arbitrator. Saya memilih mengambil kuliah S2, jurusan Master of Laws di Queen Mary University of London (QMUL). Universitas tersebut memiliki School of International Arbitration, bisa dibilang sekolah arbitrase terbaik di dunia. 

Saya juga memilih Inggris karena ingin memahami lebih baik sistem hukum common law. Selain itu, ada sisi anglofilia saya: masa remaja saya diwarnai dengan Britpop dan musik alternatif. Sebagian besar band favorit saya berasal dari Britania: Coldplay, Suede, Muse, Oasis, The Cure, Florence + The Machine. Beberapa penulis favorit saya juga dari Britania: George Orwell, Salman Rushdie, Richard Dawkins, dan Bernadine Evaristo. Beruntung saya bisa tembus seleksi beasiswa LPDP dan memperoleh uang saku tambahan dari kantor saya waktu itu. Sehingga saya bisa fokus belajar, merasakan hidup di London dengan layak, dan jalan-jalan sekitar Inggris dan Skotlandia sampai ke Eropa kontinental.

Lulus dari QMUL dengan gelar Master of Laws, saya juga memperoleh gelar Member of Chartered Institute of Arbitrators (karena ada pengakuan dan persamaan kualifikasi). Sebagaimana mahasiswa penerima beasiswa yang kembali ke tanah air, saya langsung dihadapkan dengan realitas bahwa ilmu tinggi yang kita pelajari belum siap untuk diterapkan. Arbitrase domestik Indonesia masih sekedar memindahkan cara persidangan di pengadilan, belum seluwes persidangan arbitrase internasional di SIAC (Singapura) atau HKIAC (Hong Kong). Bahkan sedihnya, perkara arbitrase terkait Indonesia yang memiliki elemen internasional cenderung tidak ditangani oleh lawyer Indonesia, namun oleh lawyer asing. Arbiternya pun asing, meski hukumnya berdasarkan hukum Indonesia.

Namun, memang harus diakui bahwa, sayangnya, masih banyak pengacara Indonesia yang tidak bisa berbahasa Inggris. Bagaimanapun juga, Bahasa Inggris merupakan bahasa internasional untuk bisnis. Pengacara Indonesia juga cendurung chauvinistik dan positivis: tidak terbuka terhadap konsep hukum asing atau tidak terdapat dalam peraturan perundang-undangan.

Selain itu, terdapat kekurangan regenerasi dalam lembaga-lembaga arbitrase Indonesia. BANI misalnya, sampai saat ini sangat jarang—bahkan tidak ada—arbiter dalam daftarnya yang berusia di bawah 40.  Regenerasi juga bukan merupakan masalah di Indonesia saja. Sebagian besar arbiter-arbiter di dunia demografinya masih senior white males (berumur, laki-laki, dan kulit putih). 

Oleh karena itu, saya bersyukur bahwa Badan Arbitrase Perdagangan Berjangka Komoditi (BAKTI) mengadakan seleksi secara terbuka dan inklusif. Setiap orang yang memiliki kualifikasi dapat mendaftar. Saya lulus seleksinya, namun masih harus menunggu 2 tahun untuk terdaftar karena persyaratan jangka waktu praktik 15 tahun.

Saya berharap adik-adik mau mempertimbangkan profesi ini. Indonesia perlu pemuda-pemudi berbakat untuk berkontribusi dalam reformasi yudisial. Menurut saya, salah satu keuntungan profesi pengacara/arbitrator ini adalah bisa mengejar uang sekaligus berkontribusi dalam pembangunan negara melalui jalur reformasi hukum.  

Profesi ini juga bisa dibilang future proof. Meskipun teknologi blockchain sudah memungkinkan adanya smart contract, yang bisa melaksanakan perpindahan uang apabila salah satu pihak tidak melaksanakan kewajibannya, banyak kontrak yang pelaksanaannya tidak bisa hanya di dunia maya saja (misalnya pekara konstruksi). Selain itu, smart contract membutuhkan para pihaknya untuk melakukan deposit dana agar bisa dilaksanakan. Hal ini menimbulkan biaya tambahan yang tidak sedikit bagi pelaku usaha.

Profesi ini juga mungkin terlihat kurang fun karena sifatnya formal dan serius serta cenderung “tradisional” (lawyer merupakan salah satu profesi tertua di dunia); sulit membayangkan bahwa kita bisa passionate akan sesuatu yang seserius hukum. Saya sendiri ada momen-momen di mana kesal dan stres harus membaca atau menulis dokumen setebal ratusan (bahkan pernah ribuan) halaman. Ingin rasanya saya beralih ke pekerjaan yang tidak perlu berpikir keras dan seperti bermain. Namun, saya belajar bahwa passion itu bukan sekedar excitement. Asal kata “passion” sendiri berasal dari bahasa latin “pati” yang artinya “menderita.” Passion itu adalah sesuatu yang kita rela menderita dalam memperoleh atau menjalankannya. Kalau kita menjalankan sesuatu karena fun, itu namanya hobi.

Selain itu, passion kita bisa jadi lebih abstrak dari sekedar karir atau profesi kita. Saya pribadi passion-nya melanglang buana, bertemu orang-orang menarik, menemukan ide-ide atau konsep baru yang mengubah cara berpikir serta berbagi pengalaman mengenai eksistensi kita. Profesi yang saya jalankan saat ini merupakan sarana untuk menjalankan passion saya tersebut. Profesi ini memberikan saya keleluasaan finansial untuk mendanai perjalanan saya dan membeli buku-buku. Profesi ini juga memaksa saya untuk mengasah otak, menambah pengetahuan, dan membaca karakter manusia. Saya bertemu dengan berbagai macam manusia dengan kepribadian yang menarik: pejabat jujur dan korup, gangster yang berkarakter, bule naif dan tukang tipu, bilyuner dan buruh miskin.

Dan karenanya, saya rela menderita untuk profesi ini.

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January 10, 2021

Social Distancing Diary: the Hajj Eid 2020

A crowd was gathering in the front yard of a house, despite the pandemic. There were a cow and a goat. A man was digging a hole. Big knives, ropes, and a plank were being laid out. They were going to perform the sacrificial ritual of Abraham: the qurban.

I remember seeing my first qurban. We had the slaughter in our front yard. I was six or seven. The goat’s desperate bleating. The hissing air and gurgling blood of opened thorax. After that I could not watch the qurban ritual.

God tested Abraham’s faith by ordering him to sacrifice his only son Ishmael. When he dutifully performed God’s instructions, God exchanged Ishmael with a sheep. God favoured them both for their obedience.

…

The sacrificial animal will guide the donor in his journey in the Mashar desert. The faithfuls will join the caravan of Muhammad on their way to paradise. The wicked and the unbelievers will be lost and scattered under the heat of scorching suns.

Sacrificial rituals are common cultural motifs. The Vikings slit open the bowels of a slave at weddings.The Aztecs took the hearts of their enemies to have their blood fuel the Sun. The God of Abraham sent his son to be crucified to redeem mankind.

“The qurban was progressive. It ended human sacrifices,” a liberal Muslim scholar argued. “The meat is distributed among the poor. The essence of qurban is the charity aspect. Therefore, modern Muslims can skip slaughtering cattles at their home or local mosque or town square—a public health risk and substandard live animal treatment.”

I am no longer religious, but I still eat meat. I am aware of the sentience of the cattle and the concentration camp-like factory farms. But the dry-age steaks; the bacon; the mutton curries; the lamb shanks; and the tonkatsu donburi, made me look away.  

If I have the stomach to eat them, I should have the stomach to watch them die.

So I stayed; witnessed the qurban.

The ropes were tied to the cow’s legs. Four men tended the ropes. The cow mooed and struggled. The butcher prayed with a knife in his hand. The goat bleated, knowing it would share the same fate as the cow.

The crowd was chanting the takbir. The spectacle became a ritual. The dullness of everyday life was suspended by death. The satiation of Sapiens’ carnal bloodlust.

October 4, 2020

Social Distancing Diary: On Meditation

Bapak sent me a picture from 1983 of the Nimun house under construction. The house in which I grew up in. 

A Daihatsu 600cc van is on the foreground.

Nimun House, 1983
Nimun House, 1983

My earliest memory of life is riding shotgun in that car. It had no air conditioner, it had a latch below the dashboard to let the wind into the cabin for cooling. I remember that, as a baby or a toddler, I gazed at the wind latch and was mesmerised by the optical illusion of the road passing by like a reel of images—as if we were stationary and the world is moving by.

I was too young to have an idea whether the Daihatsu was a nice car or not. No sense of shame in riding on a beat up motor vehicle. All I cared about was the paradox of perceptions; the subject-object dissonance.

I was ignorant of the concept of consciousness. I have not even been introduced to Allah, soul, sin, paradise, and hellfire (or perhaps understood any of those). But I innocently was aware that there is this blurry line between the sense of self and the world.

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I started meditating in September 2019. I am not sure when I started to remember and be aware again of the subject-object dissonance; the perceptions I had in my earliest memory.

I have been aware of the benefits of Oriental meditations for a long time. However, I didn’t know where to start. I am suspicious of gurus or spiritual teachers. They reek of cults–the non-mainstream organised religions. I am also skeptical with guided meditation apps. Using the smartphone, the main source of distractions of our time, to be more mindful seem to be a counterintuitive approach.

I tried to read The Attention Revolution. The book gives step-by-step instructions on how to meditate. However, it’s like reading a book on riding a bicycle. Not very helpful for me.

I postponed learning to meditate, until I worked for a sociopath and an extremely dysfunctional firm. I have worked for and with bullies and less than pleasant corrupted people, but it was a whole new level of experience (I am a litigator in a jurisdiction with a high corruption index, for your information). The tools I had—the consolations of philosophy and art, the Occidental meditation of journaling—were insufficient to cope with the challenges of that phase.

I got professional help. My therapist recommended the Waking Up app as an additional tool in helping me progress.

I have read Sam Harris’ book with the same title before. I have always been interested in spirituality, but I am prejudiced against religions. Waking Up suits my temperament (its extended title is A Guide to Spirituality Without Religions). Most of the books I read about secular spirituality (or other buzzwords for exploring and improving human psyche) typically emphasise on European enlightenment tradition of meditation; of analysing and examining one’s own thoughts. However, in Waking Up, Harris narrates his spiritual pursuits under the Eastern tradition of meditation and posits that such a path can be a secular one (despite Hinduism and Buddhism roots). 

I admit Harris’ credentials as neuroscientist and persona as one of the so-called ‘The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse’ and ‘New Atheists’ provided me with a certain assurance that this is not just a New Age-y self-help book. This helped me in opening up to the idea of a secular approach in Oriental meditations which sound juxtaposed at the beginning. 

I have also been initiated to minimalism, courtesy of The Minimalists. From them I learned the importance of being more intentional in life. Decluttering our smartphone is one way to be so. Not all apps are equal; only download value adding apps. Audit how often we use the apps, delete the ones we are not using (we can always download again later if we need them). If an app adds value to our life, keep it. After all, they are tools to help us live better.

When I downloaded the app, I had a good first impression. The user interface is friendly with tasteful aesthetic design. We can start with free introduction sessions. When I have finished all of the free sessions, I decided to pay the subscriptions to force my commitments in meditating (like most people, I’d appreciate something more if I pay for it).

The sessions are not ambitious. The default guided meditation time is 10 minutes. You can extend it to 20 minutes, but I stick to the default time. I thought if I can spend hours on Instagram, I should be able to spend 10 minutes daily on another app. 

Harris delivered the promise of meditating: I feel I have less things to do now. I am still insecure and anxious and restless, but at least I know how to stay still for 10 minutes. Having the control over my physiology despite the tumults of my mind is empowering.

Harris also reminded me to be more open minded; among those charlatans and false prophets, there are real gurus who are well intended and competent in helping you progress to the next plane of existence (see On Gurus). Therefore, after this quarantine, I am planning to go to a meditation retreat. To meditate under instructions of a guru.

As any good resource, Waking Up expanded my references to other resources. The app also offers a lot of valuable theoretical contents. I enjoyed Harris podcasts on various topics related to consciousness. His recorded conversations with experts on the said subject matter–neuroscientists, poets, philosophers, Zen masters and, yes, gurus– are intellectually stimulating. 

Recently, the app just added Contemplative Action in which David Whyte read his poems. I have always loved words and languages, but found difficulties in appreciating poetry. Whyte’s reading and narrative actually guided me how to do so.

The meditation practices have been particularly helpful during this quarantine time. As in exercising and investing, the only regret I have is not to start doing it earlier in life.

I am grateful to discover this resource. Whether you are a spiritualist like Descartes, a materialist like Oliver Sacks, or somewhere in between like most subscribers of mainstream religions, we can agree that consciousness exists. Therefore, I recommend anyone who wants to start their meditation training using this app.

You can get a free month of the app by clicking this link. If you are unable to afford the subscription price, you can send an email to Waking Up requesting a free subscription.

This is not a sponsored article. I do not receive any benefits from endorsing this app (other than helping people be kinder to themselves and each other).

May 27, 2020

The Good Place: Yayasan Pemimpin Anak Bangsa

On 6 October 2019, I volunteered as a tutor at Yayasan Pemimpin Anak Bangsa (YPAB), a not for profit organisation focusing on continuing formal education for underprivileged students. I taught a non-curricular class: diversity and multicultural inclusion.

I admit I volunteered, mostly, because of selfish altruism. I needed to be inspired. I was in a low point of life. I was working in a toxic environment (I was part of the senior management, so I am partially to blame too). I wanted to feel better about myself. And the easiest way to feel good is to do something for other. I am hacking my social animal instinct.[1]

Additionally, Kiki, one of the founders of YPAB, who is also a co-worker and a good friend, is a very persuasive individual.[2] He has successfully persuaded some of the firm’s staff to volunteer as tutors: Vera, our then finance senior staff, taught high school level accounting and Renata, our client relations staff, taught Mandarin.

I want to contribute, but I have never been interested much in Indonesian structured education curriculum. School was a place to socialise, the academic learnings were extra for me. I am more inclined to abstract thinking. When Kiki came out with diversity and multicultural topic—something that I truly care as someone who identified himself as ‘transnational’, ‘multicultural’, and ‘traveller’—I had all the reason to say yes.[3]

At first, I was reluctant to include ‘controversial issues’ such as atheism and homosexuality. I thought the students are grass root Indonesians, they may not ready to discuss them in constructive manners. Then I remember someone wrote that liberal intellectuals who think most people are easily offended and cannot understand liberal ideas are actually elitist snobs. The cultural war will not be won by discussing Camus whilst sipping wine and whisky among privileged and educated social circles. So I went for it.

The classroom was crowded. There was only one fan in the room to help mitigate the room temperature, and they kindly directed it to me. The class was briefly interrupted with power outage. However, all the students listened attentively. Engaged. None of them was looking at their smartphone when I was presenting. Many of the women were wearing hijab. There was even one lady in burqa who consistently made eye contact and I saw no contempt when I declared I am an atheist muslim.

In summary, I taught them about affinity bias; on how we have the tendency to like or more comfortable with people who look like us. I also explained the concept cultural identity as something abstract and relative but most importantly malleable. One’s emphasis on the value of identity may not be the same with others; for some religious affiliation is important, others their profession matter more. I also taught them about our prejudices. As humans our reptilian brain have them intuitively, affected by our upbringing. Yet as humans we can check our assumptions with our reasoning. I closed the session with pro-social questions. There are several questions which acceptability differs in certain cultures. For example, “What is your religion?” and “How much is your salary”—one is acceptable in Indonesia and the other in Singapore.

They gave me a wonderful little surprise for me: birthday cupcakes. They sang happy birthday to me, celebrating my belated birthday. I am not really into cupcakes, but the gesture made me into cupcakes.

Surprise (late) birthday party!

I did not plan to stay long after class. But then I talked with Kiki, co-founder Dora and the volunteers Dira[1]  and Vera, in the administrator’s room. There was also Pak Junardi, he was a director in one of the largest telco company in Indonesia. He visited YPAB to consider volunteering as a tutor.

I did not realise yet that the administrator’s room that day became my class room and I had 5 powerful tutors.

Pak Jun said he is a kampung boy, grew up in a small village near Blitar (he said it is not even in a map). He migrated to Jakarta after getting a degree as a mechanic from a vocational school. He worked at the casino as a dealer (it was the Ali Sadikin era, that’s how senior he is). When the casino was shutdown, he became a peddler selling cigarettes. Then he found employment as a biology teacher.

He had two advantages that made him a good teacher: he can and read English books; and a kampung boy knows plants. He told us that when he did not have the money to buy books, he’d hang around a bookshop for hours and read and made notes (public libraries were not common in Jakarta, even until now they tend to have limited collections). His hobby is bonsai.

We all wanted to know how he joined and climbed to the top of corporate world. However, he was saving that for his official class in YPAB. As further teaser, he told us that he is a certified 7 Habits coach and he has been coached by Stephen Covey himself. During his time in corporate world, he instructed his managers to write their personal statements. He still have his pasted on his home office desk.

After Pak Jun left, Kiki and Dora told me their war stories in building the organisation.

I am impressed with YPAB Tanah Abang facilities. It is located in a building owned by PLN, the Indonesian state power company, by the Ciliwung River. It is a humble building, right at the heart of a slum, a hotspot for their ‘target market’. Yet they have everything a proper school has. Some of the rooms even have air conditioner. If their tangible assets are these impressive, they must have great intangible assets.

Riverside view of the YPAB: kids swimming in River Ciliwung (definitely polluted).

Both Kiki and Dora are highly (internationally) educated and well travelled. They have powerful professional careers. Despite their privilege, this is not to say that they are immune to setbacks. Dora had an employment dispute and was let go when the firm she was working for was acquired. It was during that tumultuous period she built YPAB. Kiki left a promising career at now the biggest law firm in Jakarta, partly because he was struggling with mental issues, then he built the foundation.

When they started, they struggled to acquire and retain ‘customers’ (i.e. students). Apparently, many not-for-profit organisations focusing on continuing formal educations are less than credible. They issue the degree to the students without actually administering the education. The administrators’ unjustly profit from the grants, the faux students got a formal degree without having to put the time and efforts for educating themselves.

Consequently, funders need to be convinced that YPAB is legit. While they need to find customers who are actually willing to invest in education. Kiki told me how he struggled with the latter. Many marginalised people are unable to see the benefits of investing in education. Given the financial stress they are under, they have more pressing needs to get a job. Their time spent on studying is time lost on working. Additionally, the pragmatic use of a formal degree is to get a job. Thus, in short term, the less than credible organisations which can offer the degree without requiring them to study and attend class have more interesting proposition.

When YPAB Tanah Abang was opened, one student enrolled. Reluctantly. He was late for 1 hour, making the tutors wait. When it was raining, he said he could not go to school despite his home is walking distance. Kiki picked him up with umbrella.

They ‘market’ the program by approaching people in public. When Kiki was working as a lawyer in an international law firm, they went to drivers’ cafeteria in CBD office buildings to handout flyers during lunchtime. They spoke to peddlers on Car Free Days, pitching their free education programmes.

YPAB secured a significant grant in 2014. They told me how they spent sleepless nights preparing for the proposal and pitching to the funder, each contributing their professional skills. They were competing with larger organisations with good reputations too.

Kiki said things are progressing fast when Rizal Arryadi joined as headmaster. He is a brilliant educator. Now, people are on the waiting list to enrol. If a student slack off, they would be expelled and replaced. Students are coming from as far away as Bekasi and Bogor (YPAB even subsidised their train fare). Some of the students are admitted to public universities.

YPAB stories are classic entrepreneurship lessons. The underdog stories that everyone loves.

The vision, the purpose, the focus, the teamwork, the experiments, the sacrifice, the dedications to customer service, and the fun and joy. They are all textbook grit implemented. I can see why they have powerful career. Their skills and resilience are transferrable to any other aspect of life.

I imagine how painful it is for Kiki to listen to surface level jargons such as ‘#Clientsetisfaction#’ (the misspelling and double hashtags are exact quotation). Kiki has built and developed a credible, real organisation, delivering valuable education services with significant constraints. Not just a papier-mâché relying on empty branding and often deceptions.

That Sunday, I was in a company of amusing characters. Their non-conformist and bold attitudes allowed them to live such a impactful, therefore meaningful, life. It was a Sunday well-spent. I was and still am, inspired. They reminded me that there are talented good people creating good places.

However, I feel ‘small’ at the same time. I realised I have been too self-absorbed lately. I think only on how to make things work at the firm (a hopeless cause, now I learned) and how to maintain my expensive lifestyle. I worried about money most of the time. Feeling guilty for not being productive and failing to achieve my ‘targets’.

I have forgotten that none of us can walk through life with impunity from sadness, sorrows, and worries. I was suffering in a false sense of isolation. By giving myself to someone and something beyond myself, I woke again.

[1] I also meditate daily and undergone psychotherapy.

[2] I recruited Kiki in October 2018 as an associate lawyer for the firm I was managing. Just a month after I was hired as the deputy managing partner, I needed to restructure the team of lawyers. Budget was tight but the only way to improve was to recruit talented people. Kiki was referred by a former co-worker and a friend. I never thought a person with such high qualifications would accept the offer we made. He could have found a much more competitive offer in terms of salary and remuneration.

[3] I once attended a CPD class on Multicultural Inclusion by Simmon Holiday when I was working for Herbert Smith Freehills. So I copied and modified the materials to fit profiles of YPAB students (I hope it is not a copyright infringement since it is for ‘non-commercial use’).

Andira is a volunteer for PPKN subject

November 22, 2019

The Ultimate Diversity Couple

I have close friends who are mixed-race-homosexual-couple, Indonesian-Norwegian. I have known the Indonesian guy since high school. He met his Norwegian partner when they were in Copenhagen Business School. They are legally married under Norwegian laws. I do not think it is wise to disclose their real names since they are living and working in Indonesia, therefore I will refer them as Pleasures the Indonesian and Bear the Norwegian.

While I do take pride in being friends with them just because the fact they are homosexual couple (to brag how ‘liberal’ I am), they are amusing individuals and I think our friendship is politically neutral. I would still be friends with them for their personalities even if they are a monocultural heteronormative couple.

Hanging out with them is an acquired taste. They don’t just break the stereotypes of a couple (homosexual couple is an anomaly in heteronormative cultures—obviously), they also break the stereotypes of gay couple.

They are far from apologetic and have zero, if not minus, political correctness—especially Pleasures. They have the audacity to tell the plain cold hard truth with no sarcasm. These make them good friends and counsels. They will tell me things I need to realise, and not what I want to hear.

When I was getting fat, they would say I was getting fat. They do not say it in a mean way, but in a ‘get-your-shit-together’ way. When we were dining together with a friend who was having financial difficulties, Pleasures suggested that she should be exempted to pay because ‘she is poor now.’[1] However, they never said anything with malicious intent. Their brutal words are mostly plain articulations of their capabilities of empathy, or expression of jokes.

They are both masculine. Well, not to the extent as masculine as Gareth Thomas, the Captain of Welsh Rugby Team or Professor Oliver Sacks, neurologist, rider and weightlifter, but I train boxing with Pleasures and Bear is into video games.[2] Their physical features are more manly than me: bigger size, heavier built with facial and body hairs.

They don’t know anything about make-up, hairdressing, manicures-pedicures, They are not into selfies and update their Instagram only sporadically (when they do, it is rarely about themselves). They do not listen to Taylor Swift.[3]

They don’t follow Kendall Jenner or the Kardashians (in fact, we never discuss any subject that is E! Channel material). They do not gossip and never employ sarcasm in communicating. In short, they are not superficial.[4]

I took a comparative analysis on the dynamics of Pleasures and Bear’s relationship with my own heterosexual partnership. They communicate the way men communicate with each other e.g. short sentences, nodding. While in my case, my wife does most of the talking even though we are both extroverted and talkative (except during exercise or when I’m drunk—and I am talkative).[5]

This seem to be evidence in support of the notion that ‘guys do things together, girls talk to each other’. Pleasures has many girl friends (note that the space makes all the difference). It seems he prefer to ‘talk about things’ with his girl friends who are, mostly, single ladies.

When Pleasures was making travel plan for their trip to Mongolia, he wanted to make sure their itineraries are full with activities.[6] He said they are not like me and my wife who can talk to each other all the time when there is nothing to do.

Or perhaps, it’s more because Bear is an introverted individual? I don’t think so. I am an extrovert and I don’t really talk about my feelings in full extent with my male friends. I can open up better to women.

All these facts seem to support the notion that homosexual couple is atypical of heterosexual couple. Nevertheless, they have to deal with the same issues of romantic/sexual relationship. They may communicate differently but they still need to communicate.

As multicultural couple, they also break the cultural stereotype. Indonesian men are stereotypically unreliable in domestic matters such as cooking, cleaning, ironing, and laundering. They are not expected to do ‘women’s work’ and many middle-class households have domestic helpers. Pleasures is better in homemaking. He is an excellent cook (so good that one of the greatest past times in Jakarta for me is the lunch or dinner parties hosted by them) and always keep their home organised.

Once, Pleasures went on a business trip for a week and Bear sustained himself only with awful foods he ordered from a restaurant nearby. He was too lazy to cook, not adventurous enough scour streets of Jakarta for decent food, and/or has not developed sufficient language proficiency to order delivery. It seems paradoxical considering Bear’s Scandinavian cultural background.

Reconstructing heteronormative mindset and masculinity

Being friends with them required me to undergone a structural change in mindset. Fortunately, all that travelling and reading have taught me that the world is much more complex than the mindset, the concept, or the thought system we have acquired or familiar with. I have learned that our cognitive capability is unable to grasp base reality, simply because it is unnecessary for our survival.[7] Mindset or ‘concept’ is useful for us to process information by filtering and fitting them into a system.[8]

By acknowledging and being aware of a known concept’s limitations, we can adapt, change, and adopt new ones. Concept is analogous to categorisation system. We arbitrarily label something for ease of reference. However, a label is representation of the real thing, but not the real thing.[9] We need to expand our references and be open to different mindsets as well as applying them in context if we want to understand the universe a little bit better.

There is this misunderstanding on homosexual couple, at least in Jakarta, that one of them must be the ‘wife’. The ‘wife’ dude is the maternal one, the effeminate one, the one who express his excitement in high pitch and obsessed with glitters and pastel colours (literally, the gay individual).

I remember an episode of Modern Family when Cam was upset because he was grouped as ‘the mums’ by ‘the dads’ at Lily’s school. The moral of the story: there is no ‘husband/wife’ division in gay couple. They are both ‘husbands’ i.e. men, persons with penis.  Trying to fit LGBTQ couple in a heteronormative mindset does not work if we want to understand them.

The term ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ are progressively becoming more gender neutral. In the traditional (misogynistic) values, the husband is earning the money and the wife does everything else. Nowadays, it’s supposed to be about genitalia. Misogynistic values are not just holding back women in reaching their full potential but also hurting men with toxic masculinity expectations e.g. what if the wife is a better and more interested in business and the husband in homemaking? It may seem a reversal of roles, but works in modern society—especially in urban society—do not put men’s physical strength as a competitive advantage.

The stereotyping of homosexuals are not just rooted in heteronormative mindset, but also in the concept of ‘masculinity’ which both sexual orientations are subjected to and adhere, consciously or unconsciously. Under conventional masculinity, men are expected to refrain from expressing their emotions and avoid ‘self-indulgent activities’ (e.g. manicure-pedicure, facial, etc). Homosexual men are not exempted from such expectations. Yet no matter how they satisfy conventional masculinity, they can never be considered as real men because of their sexual preference. Consequently, many homosexual men think they have to choose between the two camps: machismo or gay. Of course, the camps are, again, concepts and labels. They can be a non-binary choice.[10]

Pleasures and Bear also taught me to transcend the concept of monogamy. Pleasures and Bear are the only couple that I am close with that practice open-relationship. They can have sex with other guy, as long as it is casual and disclose it to each other.

Despite Indonesia is the largest Muslim country in the world, polygamy is still a controversial concept for most Indonesians. Monogamous relationship under the romantic concept is still the default psyche and the mainstream approach for couples. Political correctness in Indonesia demand public figures and celebrities not to be openly polygamous, even for dais (Islamic preachers). Under the default traditional moralistic views, open-relationships are deranged. The fact that Pleasures and Bear are homosexual couple seems to reinforce the idea that homosexuals are basically immoral people.[11]

Moralistic point of views aside, I know that long-term monogamous relationships relying on infatuations and expecting ‘happily-ever after’ is not realistic. Nevertheless, I do not think I and my partner can function under open-relationship arrangement. As Alain de Botton aptly put, it is difficult to be a libertine and have a stable emotional relationship.[12] Maybe my need for emotional stability is higher than them.

Pleasures and Bear understand the risks of open-relationship (at least, I think they do). They dive in to the libertine arrangement and reaping the explosive excitements of sexual freedom—even in conservative Jakarta. Bear, being a white guy, exerts competitive advantage in the Jakarta’s dating game.[13] Pleasures may be ‘local’, but being highly educated intellectual with strong financial capacities, he also enjoys the privilege of desirable date. Many times they even join forces and have threesomes or orgies.

Until one day, Pleasures met a talented fashion photographer. I will call him Argonaut. He is Chinese Indonesian. Pleasures is infatuated with him, and their feelings are mutual. He overstepped the boundaries. His relationship with Argonaut is more than casual. Consequently, Pleasures and Bear went into a spiral. They decided to separate and Pleasures move out from their cohabitation flat.

After series of emotional breakdowns, therapy sessions, Pleasures decided to leave Argonaut. Strangely, Pleasures and Bear met with Argonaut. They all drank together and talked. One thing led to another, infused by alcohol, they ended up having a three way. Bear also found emotional connection with Argonaut.

Now they are having a love triangle but with no one excluded for another. A polyamorous relationship. Can I call them a ‘triple’? I remember once I told them that if they would be the ultimate diversity couple if they adopt an East Asian or African child. Seeing them together, it seems that the concept of ‘modern [nuclear] family’, where interracial same sex couple adopting ethic minority child, is not progressive enough in diversity initiative programme.

I jokingly told Pleasures that he is a true Muslim man. A successful polygamist who is able to bring together his ‘wives’. It may seem that Pleasures hit the jackpot. Nevertheless, I imagine his mental bandwith must be exhausted. He once complained that there are two snoring guys sharing his bed. He also admits that he is not optimistic on the sustainability as a triple.

I am grateful for my friendship with Pleasures and Bear. Their life stories are amusing. Most importantly, I can observe specimens of contemporary love up close and personal. This is a rare opportunity for someone who was born and lived in Jakarta for most of his life. Orthodoxy is the majority view here (not even conservatism). Therefore, my default moral matrix is not liberal. I had to educate myself to be culturally liberal. We learn the most from the people closest to us. Pleasures and Bear provide both the emotional connection and the intellectual stimulation, the heart and mind approach, to understand identities and relationships of homosexual men.

Perugia Pride 2019

[1] Being the more diplomatic one, I corrected him: ‘she’s broke.’

[2] I know it’s not the 90s anymore when contact sports and video games are associated as the past time for men, but still they are still male dominated pursuits.

[3] I do. As Detective Jacob Peralta aptly said, ‘she makes me feel things!’ See Brooklyn Nine-nine, ‘Unsolvable’ (S1:E21).

[4] In Indonesia, gay people are often assumed to be ‘superficial’. Pleasures thinks the stereotype is not entirely wrong. Most of the homosexuals he met in Jakarta are superficial. Nevertheless, he added, many heterosexual men and women in Jakarta are also superficial. I think superficiality also subscribes to gender division, i.e. the ‘basic bros’ and the ‘basic bitches’. Gay superficiality is represented by men who act as ‘basic bitches’. The combination makes a juxtaposed double cringe and, therefore, superimpose the superficiality.

[5] I scored 90% for Extraversion in Myers-Briggs personality test. My wife 98%.

[6] My Indonesian friend is the dominant one in the relationship, he seems makes most of the decisions. This is also contrary to the stereotype that Asians are more submissive compared to Western people.

[7] S Adams, Win Bigly (Penguin, 2017).

[8] Concept is analogous to software in computer, while our body and corporeal senses are the hardware. We do not see with our eyes, but with our mind.  See Invisibilia podcast Emotions.

[9] NN Thaleb, The Black Swan: the impact of the highly improbable (Penguin, 2018)

[10] M Humphries, “Gay machismo” in A Metclaf and M Humphries (eds), the Sexuality of Men (Pluto Press, 1985) 70-85.

[11] Of course, many homosexual couples are strictly monogamous. Additionally, there are heterosexual couples who are under open relationship. I just imagine it must have been easier for the woman since she wield all, if not most of, the powers of sexual tension. After all, men will be happy just to ‘get some’.

[12] A Botton, Course of Love (Hamish Hamilton, 2016)

The Ultimate Diversity Couple [13] Most Jakartans, and Indonesians, still struggle to be free from the Dutch colonial era eugenics psyche. Pleasures, half-jokingly, referred this competitive advantage in dating as ‘white supremacy’.

July 3, 2019

Netflix’s Sex Education

The plot: an awkward 16 year old who is a son of sex and relationship therapist opened up an unlicensed sex therapy clinic at his school. The business idea came from his übercool super-smart classmate who observed the gap in sex education among their teenage peers who are at their peak puberty phase.

Set in Moordale, a fictional county that is supposed to be in UK—based on the landscape as well as students’ accents and racial demographics (yet the school infrastructures seems American. Lockers, no uniform and Ivy League look alike school insignia).

Moordale is a liberal democratic socialist utopia. Interracial families and social cliques are common, European (open) attitudes toward sex, no homeless: all immigrant families live in proper housing and even the trailer park is decent, pro-life activists are laughable minorities, and zero racist or homophobic harassment incidents.[1] Moordale people has the privilege that every individual’s problems are existential and no longer basic economic needs.

Like in Channing Tatum’s 21 Jump Street, Moordale’s public high school social ecosystem has evolved progressively. The cool kid is the smart feminist with strong sense of individuality who reads all of Jane Austen’s books by the age of 12. The pretty South Asian gay boy is a member of the popular gang (because ‘homophobia is so 2008’). The dumb blonde with big tits is kind. The big bully is an outcast. The jock is still the stereotype of high school jock of the 90s: athletic (the star of the swimming team), handsome, and popular—except he is black and a son of a mixed race lesbian couple.

The series’ characters are a model of successful diversity initiative programme. The main star Otis Milburn is still a white male. However, he is not portrayed in a traditional escapist masculine character that glorifies jocks. He is sweet boy who tries to get through high school as an invisible, always in the corner unnoticed. He is also a virgin who cannot masturbate due to childhood trauma.

Otis lives with his mother Jean, a therapist with PhD and a man eater. She co-authored a best-selling book ‘Pillow Talk’. Her past success working collaboratively with her ex-husband on the book made her struggle in writing independently. And, despite her wealth of knowledge teenage puberty, she could not help not to pry and invade Otis’ privacy out of her maternal instincts.

Jean does not subscribe to monogamy, especially after her ex-husband cheated on her and left. However, when he met Jakob Nyman, the Swedish hunk plumber, and developed love interests, she projected her insecurities to him despite her years of professional experience and wealth of knowledge in psychoanalysis. Jean wrongfully assumed that Jakob is like her, a divorced womanizer who often romances his customers.[2]

Maeve Wiley is the smart attractive bad girl with charming dark personalities from a broken home. She is above popular. She is cool. She lives in a trailer park (another hint of Americanisation, poor Brits live in council houses), her mother is a drug addict, her father left the family and a brother who disappears regularly due to trouble with the police or the mob. At odds with her white trash upbringing, she consumed literatures and philosophy books. Exposing and exploring her thoughts on feminism, existentialism and transcendentalism and punk music. Maeve was the one who came with the idea to monetise Otis’ innate gift to listen and counsel on sex and relationship matters by setting up the underground therapy clinic.

Otis’ best friend, Eric Effiong is gay boy from an African immigrant family. Eric’s father as a first generation immigrant is always mindful to ‘assimilate’, repressing his self-expression to fit in his new Western society. Therefore, he is worried of Eric’s exuberant non-conformist queer sense of style that makes Eric stand out.

When Eric experienced homophobic assault, and Otis failed to listen to his agony since his best friend was self-absorbed with infatuation towards Maeve at that time, he changed his style to be more conformist. To be more invisible guy in the corner like Otis. Nevertheless, he found comfort in his family’s African church that he is loved.[3] Eric decided to come to the dance ball with full on African style. He stood up against the bully, denouncing his fear to be different. At the dance, Otis asked him to dance and mend their broken friendship. The dance ball, ‘the sexist tradition appropriated from American culture’, can be fun and a platform to bridge platonic relationship between a heterosexual from upper middle class family and a homosexual from a working class minority.

I think when Eric and Otis danced (Eric lead, of course), it was the most heart-warming and poignant scene in the entire series (and the series is full of them). The scene summarises the progressive values: that ultimately we as species can transcend our corporeal homophily and cultural concepts. That all values and concepts are malleable. They are not constant nor absolute. They are open for modification and upgrade.

The core theme of the series is sex. Real sex. Not sex as falsely advertised in porn or lifestyle magazines. Baseline and carnal, sex is a force of nature that shapes our personalities and emotions. By openly discussing about sex and breaking down the social taboos, we can emancipate societies from sexist traditions and archaic heteronormative mindset to liberate ourselves from toxic masculinity that oppresses both women and men.

Sex Education is a cultural propaganda with powerful progressive liberal agenda. It can be an important arsenal in the cultural war against populism and orthodoxy.

[1] Eric the black teenage queer experienced one homophobic incident in an episode, but it happened outside the county.

[2] Jakob is widowed and has not had sex since the death of his wife.

[3] As described by the Trevor Noah, black churches are the most passionate and warm with all their communal singing and dancing. See T Noah, Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood (Spiegel & Grau, 2016).

March 3, 2019

Hugin & Munin

I made my 5th tattoo with Shinya of Studio Muscat in Shibuya, Tokyo. I learned about the studio from Instagram. I travelled to Japan in 2018 Christmas and year end. I made a booking by email one month prior to my departure. Late December—holiday season—was a busy time for them, many people are travelling to Tokyo and booked tattoo session. However, they managed to squeeze in an appointment on 28 December 2018 at 11:30.

Studio Muscat’s senior artists are women. I was hoping I could work with a female tattoo artist for the first time. Nevertheless, only Shinya who was available at that time. I never have doubts on Shinya’s artistic qualifications. I browsed his portfolio and love his works. It just seems that tattoo art industry is still male dominated despite tattoo artist is a gender neutral profession. I wanted to have more gender diversity on my skin.

Regardless of my feminist aspirations, working with Shinya was such a pleasant experience. He has a J-Rock looks: blonde-dyed hair with beard and moustache. My pre-conceived notion is that he has this bad boy personality. But when I met him, he is the calmest and quietest tattoo artists—with Japanese overt-politeness that is borderline awkward—I have ever worked with. Unlike Chris Hewish the Londoner and Adith Setya the Jakartan, he does not chat while working. A sign saying something like ‘Please be quiet. Your tattoo artist need to focus and will finish faster if not talking’ is posted on the wall.

Shinya of Studio Muscat

I have low tolerance to pain, I always screamed during tattoo sessions. Chatting with the tattoo artists is one way to distract myself from the pain. But this time I did it the Japanese way: to suffer in silence. I only sighed and dropped some tears.

Shinya finished quickly. For such a complex tattoo with brush effects he finished within less than 2 hours. We did not chat much even after the session. He has limited English, but we connected beyond words. We are connected by the image, the symbol, on my left arm: Odin’s ravens, Hugin and Munin. Thoughts and Memories or Reason and Intuition. 

I became interested in Norse mythology after following the film series American Gods, which are based on Neil Gaiman’s book with the same title. I first read the book in 2008 and reread it in 2017 in order to understand better the series.

American Gods is a great book, but the film series allow further expansion. The book, which was written in early 2000s, made no reference to the ubiquity of social media and the internet as one of the new gods. Jesus—one of the most powerful gods in America—was only briefly mentioned in the book (trying to hitch a ride in Afghanistan). While in the series, Jesus is manifested in multiple racial personalities (White Jesus, Mexican Jesus, Black Jesus, etc). This time, the film is better than the book.[1]

Gaiman is fascinated by Norse mythologies. He even wrote a book about it (with the same title).[2] Norse Mythologies are his version and interpretation to the myths. He may not be the first or the most authoritative scholar on the subject, but he is a great storyteller. Therefore, his book is an entertaining and reliable source to learn from.

I also read D’Aulaires Book of Norse Mythology, an illustrated children book, and National Geographic Magazine issue March 2017. I binge watched the series Vikings on Netflix. It is like Game of Thrones, but the plot centred on the Pyke, and the places and characters are historically real. All the violence and sex portrayed in the series are so carnal and appealing to our reptilian brain. Hot muscled men and sultry fierce women fighting and fucking are enjoyable to watch—especially Katheryn Winnick. However, the series are also educating on the moral matrix of pre-Christian Europe. The pagans were more violent but sexually liberated and less patriarchal.

I learned that Norse gods may be as cruel, yet their gospel is less confusing than the seemingly compassionate but wrathful Christian god (or other Semitic religions’). Vikings’ belief celebrates virtue of warfare: courage, strength and cunningness. Their version of ‘paradise’, Valhalla, is a continuum of fighting and feasting until the end of times Ragnarok. The only way to get there is to die in battle. Hel is reserved for those who died of old age and sickness. The Vikings and their gods were unapologetically brutal.

Among the Nordic pantheon, my favourite god (who is actually a giant) is Loki. The god of chaos, the cunning shapeshifter. However, no god is as sophisticated and charming as Odin. American Gods’ central character is Odin. The All-Father is beyond good and evil. He is the Wanderer who is willing to give an eye and suffer great pains of the gallows for wisdom and knowledge. His ravens are representation of human mind. Naturally, Viking’s chief god is also a storyteller. Viking culture acknowledged the power of narrative in shaping reality (or perception of it).[3]

I don’t believe in any god (at least not in a limited conventional religious concept of personal god) but I understand the importance of god(s). They are the symbolism arising of the unconscious. They live on because of the Werther effect.[4]

I am always impressed on how esoteric pursuits of prophets, saints, buddhas and philosophers from different cultures can articulate—by way of representations—almost universal archetypes, the psyche which are later defined by modern psychology. Ravens are beautiful animal. They are considered as sacred in many cultures. There is a belief in England that as long as there are still ravens in the Tower of London, the Kingdom will not fall apart. Raven is a totem animal in Native American religions.

I always try to justify tattoos on the pretext of self-expression. Therefore, I want my tattoos to have meaning(s) and demonstrate the depth of my personality. I tell myself that I will not be that guy who gets tattoo just for vanity. I made a promise that when I got inked, it will be more than aesthetics. Therefore, I try to include cultural, scientific and/or literary references. Then mix it with my personal experience that can be associated with the image (or words).

Therefore, I spun this story. Citing ancient mythologies, history, anthropology, sociology, psychology and other humanities science, to establish a notion of almost universal significance in symbolisms associated with ravens. Then I drew an arbitrary connection with my individual associations: my memetic experience binge watching the Vikings series during the months off from work,[5] the fact that I was born on Wednesday—Odin’s day, and my fascination with the exploration on human mind after reading Jung, Haidt, Sacks, Harris, Hesse, Wallace, and—yes—Gaiman.[6]

Nevertheless, all these arguments, these reasonings I presented, may be a sign of insecurities. Maybe I am just trying to look smart, a façade of intellectual snobbishness. Nothing has meaning, therefore everything can have a meaning. Art can be for the sake of an art. Aestheticism alone is sufficient reason to have a tattoo and there is nothing wrong with vanity. I (or anyone) can have a tattoo just because I think it looks lovely and makes me look better.

Shinya has a classy taste. I was considering to have the Hugin and Munin tattoo on my upper arm or forearm. He advised for forearm. I am glad I took his advice. Tattoos on upper arm can make a man look tacky. After the tattoo was finished, I was doubtful. I thought it may be too simple. But as I revisit my perception, I like it the more I look at it. It’s like dark chocolate, black coffee, or single malt whisky. I may not appreciate them on my first tasting, but I can stand them on longer term. Simplicity, the austere aesthetics, the main elements of Japanese culture, apparently suits me.

Hugin & Munin


[1] American Gods is another Gaiman’s book that is better when adapted to screen. The first one is Stardust. As of the time of this writing, I have not watched How to Talk to Girls at Parties and look forward to see it.

[2] Norse mythologies, were originally told as oral stories. The Vikings had no writing culture other than the runes. Later, Christianity brought writing and reading culture. Therefore, the stories of the Nordic gods and heroes were handed down but with twists and modifications by the storyteller. Gaiman, like Brothers Grimm, retold the stories in writing.

[3] My blog name is inspired by Hugin and Munin.

[4] The central theme of American Gods is that the gods live as long as people believe them and die when they are forgotten. The gods give power to people who worship them and offer them sacrificial objects. The rituals, from praying and bowing to Mecca to cheering to our favourite team in a football stadium, provide strength and communal bond to the believers. To quote one line from the American Gods film series: ‘The gods are great but people are greater. For it is in their hearts that gods are born and to their hearts that they return.’

[5] I am particularly drawn by the characters of Ragnar Lothbrok and Eckbert. They are both sophisticated, charming, and cunning. Good corrupted men.

[6] CG Jung et al, Man and His Symbols (Dell Publishing, 1964); J Haidt, the Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Religion and Politics (Pantheon Books, 2012); O Sacks, the Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat and Other Clinical Stories (Touchstone, 1998); S Harris, Waking Up: Searching for spirituality without religion (Black Swan, 2015); H Hesse, Siddhartha (Kerala Bookhouse, 2006); BA Wallace, the Attention Revolution: unlocking the power of the focused mind (Wisdom, 2006).

February 8, 2019

Glow

Glow is like Mickey Rourke’s the Wrestler but on steroids—I mean estrogen. It is a manifestation of Roland Barthes’ the World of Wrestling. Wrestling is not a sport. It is a spectacle.[1]

 

I am not into escapism stage drama offered by wrestling as spectacle, but I love the real life drama that lies behind the scene. The personal struggles of each character, the wrestlers, are relatable. A struggling brunette actress who is unable to find a role that satisfies her ideals (female roles in the 80s were mostly unimportant, often eye candies only), a blonde actress who gave up acting for the financial security of marriage—but later disillusioned by her unhappiness, a black stuntwoman whose career is stumped due to her lack of acting skills, a British immigrant from London (Bromley, actually) trying to make it in Hollywood, a limousine driving rich Jewish girl looking for fun and attention, a Hispanic girl from a family of wrestlers wanting to pursue her passion in wrestling, a South Asian girl in medical school who feels medical school is not for her, a black single mother who raised her son into a Martin Luther King scholarships recipient in Stanford, an assertive and libertine Cambodian girl, a lesbian Hispanic stripper, a former Olympic medallist with anger management issue, and a teenage Goth with daddy issue.

 

Then there are the male characters, fragile and vulnerable. A talented grumpy insecure old B-movies director, a trust fund baby producer whose only obsession is wrestling from a Republican family (with a homosexual butler/best friend from childhood who loved him albeit unrequited). A predatory local TV director and a spineless TV executive.

 

The wrestling characters are offensive: the Welfare Queen (an African American fat woman who lives off benefits), Beirut the Terrorist (an Indian, but portrayed as an Arab—because all Asian look the same to American) and Fortune Cookie (a Cambodian, but portrayed as Chinese—again, Asian faces), Britannica (British accent sounds smart, just give her a pair of glasses). The diversity of the ‘offensive’ wrestlers is then juxtaposed with Liberty Belle as the representative of the ideal of an All-American-Woman  (a smoking hot mother with Southern drawl accent who voted for Reagan—but most importantly, she is blonde) to demonstrate the paradox of America as a melting pot with a strong culture of whitewashing.

 

The off-stage and on stage characters are not-so-subtle commentaries on the deep rooted sexism and racism in America. Therefore, I think Glow is one of the ultimate art house films on liberal feminism. It is about the struggle of women in search of empowerment and reinvention of identities. As a man, the film appeals to both my inner ape and intellectual: hot girls of diverse ethnicities embracing their sexuality and strong personalities.[2] Glow is objectifying and ‘subjectifying’ women at the same time. An acknowledgement of ‘girl power’: girls come in different shapes and sizes. Each with their personality, preference and emotional baggage, must navigate a white men’s world. I found Glow satisfying for my inner Steppenwolf.[3]

 

If you’re among the 80s generation (which I am not—not that old), when the Cold War was at its height (cue Zoya the Destroya) and spandex was still fashionably sensible, you will find the cinematography and music scores nostalgic.

[1] R Barthes, Mythologies (Vintage, 2009), 3-14

[2] My favourites are Britannica (yes, I am a sucker for British accent—they do sound smart for me) and Fortune Cookie (I am also a sucker for oriental looks).

[3] H Hesse, Steppenwolf (Penguin Essentials, 2011)

November 20, 2018

Project MBC Perjuangan

MBC Community faced significant setbacks on September 2018. The Kwitang gym had to close down because the sub-lease was terminated abruptly. Moving Body Culture and Master Boot Camp announced the dissolution of their partnership after sustaining significant losses as business. It was a shocking development for a community that has been running since 2011.

 

Good thing that our community consists of resourceful individuals. Responding to the setbacks, the members organised a working committee with one purpose: to sustain the community. As a fitness community, we agreed that we can only sustain the community by ensuring the continuation of our group training sessions. We named the project: Project MBC Perjuangan.[1]

 

We discussed about how. We talked about anarchism approach where members self-organise the training sessions and hire the trainer(s), no-frills gym concept with smart locks and self-service to minimise staffing and therefore costs, etc. Ideas were thrown, argued and debunked.

 

In the end, we realised the bottom line issue is simple: we needed to find a venue that is: (i) strategically located; (ii) has adequate facilities; and (iii) with affordable rent. Issue that is so obvious to identify yet difficult to solve. Any business is property business. The Kwitang gym failed mainly because it’s a bad property.

 

We surveyed many locations. Most are either too expensive, not easily accessible, no clean toilet and shower facilities. Until we stumbled upon Pati Unus Courtyard/Walking Drums complex. The complex is located in strategic location with clean toilet and shower as well as locker facilities since it is a sport complex for basketball and futsal.

 

It is expensive to rent the basketball or futsal court. However, we do not really need to train on any court. Any place with decent size and something to attach the suspension trainers would do. Therefore, we asked whether we can rent only a corner where they store futsal goal posts. The landlady is happy to monetize an otherwise non-productive space. Coincidentally, she is also a friend of one of our members. By the virtue of mutual interests and good relationship, we got a good deal on the price.

 

While the idea of anarchy training sessions are appealing, we decided that it is best that training sessions are administered by a professional. Therefore, we gave Coach Edi of Master Boot Camp the full control over the entire business. Each of our community members will then contribute in various ways. From managing the social media accounts, promoting the training sessions to new members, or simply by showing up and train.

 

On the first day of October 2018, MBC Community had their first training session at Pati Unus Courtyard/Walking Drums. I think it is admirable that we can found an ideal venue within less than a month. I believe this shows the strength of a wonderful community that shares resources for a common purpose: an inclusive, welcoming and educating fitness enterprise.

 

MBC Community have been instrumental in achieving my fitness independence as well as developing exercise habit. I hope more people can benefit from this community based fitness trainings. No gymtimidation in our sessions. The coaches and fellow participants are friendly and helpful. Whether you are new to fitness, recuperating from an injury, or a professional athlete, the coaches will ensure that the intensity of the training programme can be adjusted to fit your individual fitness level.

 

At the time of this writing, Master Boot Camp offers both monthly subscriptions and walk-ins to ensure that the business is sustainable but not incentivised by no-show community members (unlike chain gyms). I still found their offering is of high value to my fitness budget. The training sessions are scheduled pre and post office hours, between 0600-0900 and 1830-2030. The likeliest time you’d go to the gym.[2] Virtually, it’s like going to a gym and share the costs of hiring a personal trainer. Check the Instagram account and/or contact Coach Edi by phone/text message at +628128077278 for details.

 

If MBC Community has a gender, it is definitely female. Unintentionally, most of our members are women. And we are proud that they are of diverse backgrounds. We have a fresh graduate in their 20s to a mother/business owner in her 50s who can finish Spartan Races. Some find Jakarta’s weather too hot so they prefer to wear minimalist sportswear during training. Some prefer to cover up for religious or personal style reasons.

 

Of course, men are welcomed. We do not have any gender (or any other) preference for our community membership.[3] Nevertheless, for reasons unknown, the acquisition and retention rate of our male members have never been as impressive as our female members. I have always been a minority by gender.

 

MBC Community is also LGBT friendly. We have members who are openly lesbian, gay and (possibly) bisexual. Although we have not yet have the privilege of having any transgender member.

 

On Saturday, 6 October 2018 at 0600, we held a special signature boot camp session. It has the regular sweat, swears, and banters. However, instead of having the session at the usual Kemenpora basketball court, we had it at the Pati Unus Courtyard/Walking Drums to introduce the new place to our new and old members who have not had the chance to train there.

 

It was a fine morning. I got the usual endorphin kick from that Saturday morning ritual I have been doing since 2011. I am glad that MBC Community has overcome another setback. I am optimistic that the MBC Community will be stronger in coming years to help more Jakartans to be fitter, and provide a healthy sense of belonging for its members. Pun intended.

 

Actual footage during training session.

[1] ‘Perjuangan’ is the Indonesian word for ‘struggle’. The name is a satire to one of the biggest political parties in Indonesia which split during the New Order Regime. For the record, our community is apolitical and our members have their own political preferences.

[2] Training sessions during office hour can be scheduled upon request.

[3] Actually, we prefer nice people.

October 7, 2018

Salihara Street Photography Course 2017

I took Salihara Street Photography course in 2017. I got the information from Instagram’s  sponsored ad. It was a rare moment when Instagram ad algorithms actually pushes something that add value to my life.

 

The course was coached by Erik Prasetya. I did not know him before, despite he is one of Asia’s most influential photographers. I just learned the fact only after I did my research on the course.

 

I browsed his portfolios first before reading about his background. I loved his works immediately, even before I learned that he’s a big name in street photography. I am always wary of awards and titles. While they are indicative on the quality works, awards and titles have the tendency to turn anything into a competitive sport. As in any competition, you can win because you are that good or simply your competitors are that bad.

 

I am not saying that awards and titles as well as competitions have no merit at all. They are useful for filtering information overload, to narrow down choices. But we need to keep in mind they are ‘tools’ of institutions. Their reliability is dependent on the legitimacy of the institutions which provide them. And in a less developed country (i.e. Indonesia), there is a high chance that institutions are not matured enough to be consistent in quality standards.

 

I have seen photographers who advertised his or her credentials when making a photography course. Winner of photo competitions, a high end camera brand ambassador, a magazine’s photographer of the year, etc. However, when I look at their portfolios, they are technically stunning but, I think, bland.

 

But Erik’s pictures are different. He can capture the beauty of middle-class and Jakarta, two banal subjects which loosely represent the worst of capitalism and consumerism. His works are not just pleasing to the eyes and indulging senses, but captures and touches our ‘soul’.

 

I have limited references on Indonesian photographers. Therefore, it was a rare chance to learn photography in Jakarta from a photographer with such depth. So I decided to make the investment in enrolling.

 

I do not have the ambition to become professional photographer. However, I want evolve as a photographer. I want to grow beyond taking ‘instagrammable’ pictures, beyond banal platitudes of getting ‘likes’ and surface level photographic beauty.

 

The course consisted of classes of instructions and discussions, photo hunting sessions, and creating photo essays.

 

Instructions and Discussions

 

In the classes, Erik explained the theoretical formula for street photography (facial expression, juxtaposition and metaphor). Apparently street photography is more than just ‘on the street photography’. To have all the three elements in one frame requires skill and luck.

 

He also spoke and discussed about his perspective and sensitive observations. The thinking process behind his art—coined as ‘Banal Aesthetics’—is captivating.

 

Street photography, unlike photojournalism, does not rely on capturing highly charged subjects such as war, famine, or political unrest. Therefore, the ethical issues mostly revolve around the privacy of the subjects. Street photography often requires discreetness to acquire the candidness of the moment. Nevertheless, when the shutter has clicked, the subjects are likely to notice the photographer. It is important to make the subjects feel comfortable, for ethical  and artistic (even legal) reasons. Erik has a good tip for photographer: be stylish and good looking so people are more welcoming.[1]

 

Well, we can learn to be stylish. But not everybody is good looking. Maybe good looking can be substituted by being charming?

 

The case studies on ethics in photography that we discussed, among others, was Kevin Carter’s Pulitzer winning photograph of a starving Sudanese child waited by a vulture. The photograph helped in drawing more international attention to the crisis in Sudan. Nevertheless, when a photographer photograph something, he or she made a decision not to intervene. Therefore, arguably, photographing is a passive form of endorsement. Carter committed suicide in 1994, the film ‘Bang Bang Club’ portrayed that he felt guilty and became depressed for not helping the child.

 

Erik did not photograph the 212 Protest, because he is not willing to passively endorse a regression in liberal values.

 

Photo hunting sessions

 

In street photography, we need to go beyond ‘exoticism’. I am mostly a travel photographer. Therefore, it is difficult for me to move away from acquisitive mindset towards novel and unfamiliar subjects/objects—which are a plenty when I am travelling.

 

On the other hand, street photography is, well, photography. I think the foundation of photography is to capture subjects that stimulate the interests of the photographer. Even if the subjects are neither novel nor unfamiliar, as long as they arouse the curiosity to observe deeper, I believe the photographer can produce a captivating image.

 

We are naturally defined by our interests. That is why photography projects a strong sense of individuality. For me, photography even produces a feeling of connection with the photographer. When I look at a photograph, I feel as if I am relating with and interpreting the photographer’s perspective of the world. Just like reading a writer’s words.

 

The photo hunting ground was Jakarta. We went to Kota Tua (Jakarta’s old town district) and Jakarta Mod event in Senayan. Just because I live in a city for most of my life, does not mean I can’t find anything novel, unfamiliar and interesting.

 

Kota Tua

 

The last time I visited Kota Tua was in 2010. It has always been a popular photo hunting spot in Jakarta because it has the highest concentration of the Dutch colonial buildings. At that time, however, most (if not all) of the Dutch colonial buildings were in such a sorry state. They were all crumbling. The city government does not seem to have any preservation programme of the historic site (or the programme was simply not implemented effectively). If you want to go inside of any of the buildings, you have to pay unofficial entry and photography fee to the local thugs. In my memory, the associated smell of Kota Tua circa 2010 is of urine.

 

2017 Kota Tua is revamped. I can see the city government led by Governor Ahok has done better job in implementing the preservation programme. The colonial buildings are refurbished and became fancy new restaurants, cafes and exhibition galleries. The main square is more family friendly—which means more middle class Jakartans are coming in.

 

I am all in for preservation of historical sites. However, at least in this case, the preservation also means gentrification. I am wary of the hipsters, but I am much more wary of the blandness of the middle class. 2017 Kota Tua is like London’s Leicester Square. Kota Tua square is now filled with costumed mimes, floating trick artists and caricature illustrators. Onthel (vintage bicycles) rent businesses have been there for as long as I can remember, but now they are multiplying and the bikes are brightly painted with pastel colours. This is to create high contrast with the grey old buildings. The ultimate purpose: selfies or selective colour photography trick—which everyone seems to be doing there.

 

Kota Tua square is also a reminder of how homogenic Jakarta is. Although Indonesia is ethnically diverse and Jakarta is the melting pot for Indonesians, it is difficult to spot the physical difference between ethnic groups—except for the East Indonesians and the Chinese Indonesians. Trying to differentiate the Javanese and the Bataks physically is like comparing the English and the Scandinavians.

 

The homogeneity of Jakarta extends to style. As a conservative society with limited references, Jakartans have low tolerance to non-mainstream individual style expressions. Therefore, there is little variety in terms of fashion. It is typically easy to spot which socio-economic group a Jakartan belong from the way they dress and where they hang out.

 

The sights of 2017 Kota Tua were new and unfamiliar for me. Nevertheless, it did not stimulate my curiosity. Thus, I cannot use the exoticism perspective.

 

2010 Kota Tua, I think, was charming in a raw derelict way. Anak kampung (children from nearby poor neighbourhoods) were playing football, indie band members were doing photoshoots for their album and couples their prewedding photography, punks and gangsters congregated with their comrades. It was my early day of learning photography—I still used a point and shoot. My references on photography was much more limited compared to now, but I can be sure that I would have been more interested in 2010 Kota Tua even now.

 

This confirms that I still hold on so much to the exoticism perspective. I still rely on my voyeuristic impulse in photography. I am interested in ‘lower class’ 2010 Kota Tua, because I am not a member of such class.

2017 Kota Tua

 

Senayan

 

The Jakarta Mod event was more interesting. Maybe because the subjects are segmented.

 

The interesting thing about Jakarta mods are not their obsession with Vespa mopeds, but their zeal in adopting the fashion style—which are geared for London weather. I saw many Jakarta mods proudly wore their vintage overcoat and jacket in 35 centigrade/80% humidity weather. I was sweating in plain t-shirt and shorts, so I imagine how wet they were inside.

 

It was a hot and humid day.

On obtaining juxtaposition, Jakarta is a random city. Based on my experience living here for more than 30 years, juxtapositions are almost everywhere. In fact, some juxtapositions are so common here they are perceived as the norm. I had to live abroad to be able to see Jakarta’s peculiarities.

 

Nevertheless, encountering juxtaposition and capturing it with a camera in a split second is the photographic skill that separates the professionals from the amateurs, the trained talent and the rookie. Great photographers are borderline clairvoyant in anticipating moments. Their years of experience seem to allow them to intuitively position themselves at the right place and at the right time. They have mastered the art of waiting and thinking.

 

I did encounter many juxtaposed moments both in Kota Tua and Senayan, but I failed to capture them.

 

Needless to say, I fell behind during the photo hunting session. I want to blame Jakarta for this failure. After all, Brandon Stanton of Humans of New York also failed in photographing Jakarta.[2] But some of the photographers in my class succeeded.

 

Erik consoled me that photography requires the elements of luck and patience. We only had half day. It took him  at least 5 years to photograph Jakarta and published them on his newest book Women on Street.

 

The experience made me insecure. Nevertheless, I was venturing beyond my comfort zone. I took the required path to evolve.

 

Additionally, I reconfirmed that I do not love Jakarta. Erik can photograph Jakarta well because he is in love with the Big Durian. He migrated from Sumatra. Despite Jakarta is a third world city, it is still the capital. Compared to Sumatra, Jakarta (and Java) is much more developed. Maybe as a born and bred Jakartan, I am unable to appreciate that fact.

 

Of course, I do not mean to be condescending to Erik or other Indonesian urbanisation migrants (commonly referred to as ‘utusan daerah’—region’s delegate[3]). There is more to Jakarta that attracts Erik than the bright lights and the Indonesian dream.[4] Jakarta is a peculiar city, an acquired taste. The city can be artistically stimulating if you can cope with its randomness. Also, Erik is not just an artist, he is a political activist. He participated in many protests against Soeharto’s dictatorial New Order regime. What better place to do political activism than the capital.

 

In fact, it may be me who is shallow for not being able to better appreciate Jakarta despite I can live relatively comfortably here.

Photography and Literature

 

Erik and the other 2017 class participants are also interesting individuals. We discussed topics beyond photography. From politics, literature, films, social and anthropological issues to personal life stories. Every class was enriching. I gained many references from them. I read books recommended by Erik (and a book about him), i.e.:

 

  • Mythologies by Roland Barthes;
  • Camera Lucida by Roland Barthes;
  • On Photography by Susan Sontag;
  • Estetika Banal & Spiritualisme Kritis by Erik Prasetya and Ayu Utami; and
  • Cerita Cinta Enrico by Ayu Utami

 

From the discussions and the books, I finally understood what makes certain photographers, such as Erik, able to create a depth, to give ‘soul,’ in their pictures: their taste. Technical skills of photography will make beautiful pictures. Depth or ‘soul’ is achieved with the sophistication of the photographers’ mind. As Erik pointed out, a photographer is a craftsman if he or she can create beautiful pictures. However, it takes an artist to create art.

 

I notice that one thing that indicates sophistication of the photographer’s mind is the ability to articulate their ‘art’ in words. The photographers I look up to are also writers. They have published good (even great) books or at least run quality blog.

 

I learned that ‘a picture worth a thousand words’ adage does not exempt a photographer in articulating their thoughts. It is true that words are more limited in describing a matter since they are only representation of it. However, words give form to enable better understanding on a matter. The more complex our linguistic skills, the better we are in articulating our thoughts. Subsequently, we become better in expressing and sharing them. And art is about expression and sharing.

 

The ability to articulate thoughts is also essential for the development of photography. Photography, as any work of the mind, is an intuitive process. Nevertheless, if such intuitive process can be translated—albeit only to certain extent—into a reasoning explanation, the next generation can benefit from precedents and a more methodical approach in learning photography.

 

Erik’s opined that Indonesian street photography scene is not living up to its potential. He believes that it is not because of the economy. Sri Lanka street photography scene is lively and it is also a less developed country. Erik believes the main factor in such lethargy is the lack of precedents. Many senior photographers do not produce sufficient books on photography. Precedents allow aspiring and new generation photographers to shorten their learning curves and they do not need to develop the established practices from ground zero over and over again.

 

As someone with ‘standing on the shoulders of giants’ image tattooed on my forearms, I agree with Erik.

 

Erik is a lecturer in Institut Kesenian Jakarta. He is invested in developing the street photography genre in Indonesia. He mentors his students well. Patient, approachable and encouraging, even towards difficult and entitled individuals. I am writing this entry as a testimony on how this course has added value to my life and I would recommend next courses for anyone interested in the art of observation.

 

I don’t think I have succeeded in becoming a street photographer at the end of the course. Nevertheless, it is my deficiencies that I need to fix by investing more time on my photography skills. The effort I undertake in the course itself is rewarding. I believe I have learned much and improved as a photographer in general.

 

Erik holds regular meetups for Street Photography Course alumni (2016 and 2017 classes) and created a Whatsapp group. On a critical note, I decided not to participate because there are more noises than productive discussions in the Whatsapp group. I hope this alumni group can be better curated and moderated.

‘How to take better wefies’ is a part of the curriculum. Not. Photograph by Danny Ardiono.

[1] Erik is in his 60s but you can tell that he is fit from his built (he is a wall climber). He always wear fedora hat and scarf as his signature style. He said it helps to make him look less threatening so subjects are more welcoming to him.

[2] Erik Prasetya held a group discussion at Komunitas Salihara on why Stanton failed in photographing Jakarta. Unfortunately, I did not attend.

[3] Indonesians often refers Jakarta as the capital (ibukota), while the rest of Indonesia is the regions (daerah).

[4] I think the contemporary Indonesian dream can be summed up by these external material symbols: big house, domestic helpers and baby sitter, fancy cars with chauffeurs, Western or Japanese restaurants, fast fashion, shopping malls, the newest smartphones and travel pictures abroad on Instagram.

September 27, 2018